The Legend of Tommy Tanks

While Major League Baseball’s idiotically selfish owners are currently trying their damndest to kill baseball, one lone human baseball mashing phenomenon is single handily saving the sport.

Say hello to Tommy Tanks.

Tommy Tanks White has 9 home runs through his first 8 College Baseball games ever. And just in case you thought all he did was hit long balls, the Dude is also stroking it at a cool .588 pace.

Two words – Hitting. Machine.

But it’s not just the numbers folks. Any old Joe D. can go on a hot streak. It takes a Tommy Tanks to capture the attention of the Sport World.

Just look at the ferociousness in which Ol’ Tom Tanks swing the bat:

The Man Child does not hit the ball. He punishes it.

And he does it with style.

The hair. The chain. The tree trunk legs. Legend has it the Wolfpack weight room doesn’t contain enough Lbs for Tommy’s leg days. The State training staff has resorted to importing cows from the Agricultural Dept., land grant school and all, you know.

Baseball is dead they say. The kids don’t care they say. The games are too long, too slow they say. What about Tik Tok they say. Hot dogs aren’t sandwiches they say. The dress is white they say.

“They” are idiots.

Tommy Tanks is the way.

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