The Lil’ Dogg was perusing the old back catalog as one who blogs does and to this pup’s shock and awe found that of all the myriad of inane “Hi-Top Top Whatever” lists this pup had never done a Top Christmas Song list. Utterly shocking I know.
Now there is a Hi-Top Christmas Song list that was done a few years ago by Le Cap and while I mostly back Cap’s opinions on things this list was ahhhh….utter trash. Check it out here but be warned it might make you barf.
So without further ado here’s is the true and only authentic Hi-Top Top 12* Greatest Christmas Songs of All-Time
*Okay two bits of “ado” before we officially start – 1) 12 songs cuz of the 12 Days of Christmas (so clever) and 2) this list doubles as the greatest Christmas playlist ever made. Obviously.
12. Father Christmas by The Kinks
Now this is how you kick of a Christmas Playlist. The Kinks knock this original out of the park with a rocking riff and a truly English (i.e. depressing) take on the Season of Joy. And by joy I mean a tale of young hoodlums robbing the Santa outside of a department store. 🎼Father Christmas gives us the money🎼
11. Sleigh Ride by The Ronettes
Phil Spector did a lot of mostly bad stuff in his life but his 1963 Christmas album is pure joy. It might just be the perfect distillation of his “Wall of Sound” and one of the standout tracks is of course by The Ronettes. Roni’s voice, the jingling bells and triumphant horns. It’s Christmas magic.
10. Happy X-Mas (War is Over) by John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band
Okay so the English definitely have a different take on Christmas. Mostly that people suck and well they ain’t wrong. Now this is one song (amongst others) that appears on Le Cap’s (terrible) list. He of course hates on the vibe and Yoko and well basically everything about the song. Which completely misses the point. Christmas can be depressing. And you need just a little of that in your Christmas playlist. But much like The Kinks tune the underlining message is one of hope – war is over if you want it. We could all be better people. But only if we want to.
9. Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town by Bruce Springsteen
The only good Springsteen song???? I kid. I kid. Kind of. Credit where credit is due. Bruce & the Boys slay this one.
8. Last Christmas by Wham!
Let’s start with the fact that George Michael was barely 21 when he wrote, produced and played all the instruments on this Christmas classic. I mean c’mon. Also what in the hell did Andrew Ridgeley actually do in Wham!??? Never the less “Last Christmas” is a stone cold stunner of a Christmas tune. Just beautiful really.
7. Oi to the World by No Doubt
Circa 1997 No Doubt could literally do no wrong. Let’s just all be thankful they used that magic pixie dust on this cover of The Vandals Christmas original. Oi to the punks indeed.
6. Won’t Be Home for Christmas by Blink-182
Circa 2000 Blink-182 could do no wrong and they decided to bless the world with a Christmas blast of pop punk cheer. This one goes down like spiked eggnog.
5. Lucy and Linus by Vince Guaraldi
Instantly recognizable. Utterly classic. It’s timeless but it’s also able to transport you back in time to watching Charlie Brown Christmas on TV as a kid. It’s just Christmas through and through.
4. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love
Another gem from the Spector album but this one is all about Love. Darlene Love. That voice is Christmas time.
3. All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey
I can take or leave Mariah Carey on most things. Like obviously the talent is there but the rest is ehhhhh. But one thing she absolutely does not get enough credit for is the fact that she wrote and produced this song. Like if you polled 100 people on the street right now at least 85 would say that this song is a cover. It’s not. It’s a Mariah Carey original. And she kills it. Every time. Even 30 odd years later. Kills it.
2. Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses
The biggest sin committed by Le Cap’s Christmas list was disparaging the second greatest Christmas song of all-time. Anyone who says anything bad about The Waitresses goes on the Naughty List for sure. Only a Scrooge like Cap could dislike this burst of pure New Wave Yuletide Joy.
1. Do They Know it’s Christmas by Band Aid
Okay fine the lyrics aren’t exactly kosher these days. I get it. But c’mon!!!! This is by far the greatest collection of musical talent ever brought together by a Boomtown Rat and man o’ mon do they bring it. This song is huge. It’s an emotional roller coaster and when Bono kicks in with “Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you” that’s a gut punch right there folks. Christmas should be about others, right. Doing better. Being better. That’s the true meaning of Christmas.
That’s it. That’s the REAL Christmas song list. Facts is facts and the fact is when you want something done right you have to do it yourself. Or get a team of 80s Rock Stars to do it for you. Now the Christmas season can officially begin. You’re welcome.