It’s Monday morning, the day after Halloween. The candy hangover is real and LeBron James is time traveling.
Let’s just go ahead (for funzies) and assume this is an actual honest to goodness picture of Future Bron sitting in the stands watching Present Day Bron play basketball.
A few questions:
1. Why this game?????
The Lakers beat the 1-5 Rockets at home by ten points in what seems like a completely unforgettable early season NBA game. If you’re time traveling why in the hell would you pick this game?
A couple of thoughts – maybe something really really really bad happens today! Like maybe last night was the last ever slate of NBA games and LeBron is traveling from some apocalyptic future where basketball no longer exists and he just wanted to savior the experience of the very last night of NBA hoops. Be careful out there folks, some basketball eating monstrosity might arise out of the sea at any moment.
Or perhaps last night was last ever LeBron game. Being teammates with Russell Westbrook can drive a man to do crazy things like up and retiring out of nowhere. Be on High Alert for a Retirement Press Conference.
2. Why that hat?
One – this confirms any and all Bald LeBron speculation. Two – I actually think the hat sneaky confirms the time traveling. LeBron made a quick pit stop in 1945, grabbed a sweet Fedora and then decide to checkout himself playing the last ever NBA game at Staples…which brings us to…
Get the hell out of Los Angeles folks. There’s basically a 100% chance LA falls into the ocean today. Ever the basketball historian, Future Bron is time traveling to every important NBA game ever played including the final game in Los Angeles before the Great Shake of 2021.
4. Is there’s NO POPCORN IN THE FUTURE?????
Future Bron is going to town on some tasty kernels. Perhaps in the future popcorn is a scarce commodity or even worse banned by the Intergalactic Universe High Council that dictates all laws in our future society. Eat up now folks! Get to poppin’ cuz it could be your last chance.
5. Does COLOR NOT EXIST IN THE FUTURE?????
That is quite the gray fit Future Bron has going on there. Like not one splash of color to be seen. In the future to we live in a world without color??? Has the idea of a colorblind society been taken to extreme measure where people are no longer allowed to even wear clothes with the color? It’s not out of the realm of possibilities folks. Start hoarding those retro 80s neon shirts now cuz in the future it’s all gray all the time.
Or perhaps the future is like that movie with the dude from The Office where the aliens are attracted to sounds expect instead of sounds it’s bright colors and so everyone wears gray to hide from the ravenous color eating aliens. In that case, get rid of all your colorful clothes now!
Facts is facts and the fact is that Future Bron is definitely try to tell us something. He can’t just come right out and say how we can save society cuz nobody would believe him. We’d all say “No way that’s crazy Future Bron!” But if he gave us a coded message that only the chosen few were able to understand…
Now the only question is what exactly is Future Bron telling us?????