Hi-Top History Lessons – False Stories About American History People Still Believe – Lesson 1 – The Pilgrims Were NOT Seeking “Religious Freedom”

American History is a lot of things – complex, dark, twisted and frankly (like most of the rest of the world) contains a shit ton of things that the good ol’ U. S. Of A. should not be particularly proud of.

And most unfortunate of all, the “American History” that the Average Six Pack Truck Drivin’ Flag Wavin’ Proud to be an American Joe thinks they know so much about is pretty much all 100% false.

So here’s the real deal Holyfield folks. Hi-Top is gonna break apart some of these classic Americana Myths and give the people the truth, the cold hard truth and nuthin’ but the truth. Sorry if that shatters you Apple Pie Cherry Tree world view but we think it’s about time you face the truth. Don’t worry you can handle it.

Hi-Top Top History Lesson #1

The Pilgrims

The more mouthy type of religious folk in America love to wax poetically about the pursuit of “Religious Freedom” that they think American was founded upon because of a couple of throwaway lines in a dusty old document and most famously The Pilgrims. People still believe that the story of the Pilgrims is one about a group of faithful devotees escaping persecution in England and finally finding religious freedom in American. Ummm no. The Pilgrims already had religious freedom. In Holland. They’d been in Holland for years living a peaceful non-persecuted existence. Nobody cared. In fact that was the problem. The Pilgrims kids growing up in Holland didn’t want to be Pilgrims. They were having too much fun. And the Pilgrim parents were pissed. They hated that their kids were rejecting the Pilgrim way of life in favor of the more open and free Dutch society.

Also the Pilgrims in Holland were poor as shit.

Ahhh yes money. You see every time you think the answer to the question is religion or faith or freedom or anything else, the real answer is MONEY.

The Pilgrims were sick of being poor in Holland with crappy factory jobs that were disappearing while their kids grew up chasing Dutch dreams. So they wanted to leave. But where could they go? They needed someplace where they could still be Pilgrims but more importantly not have to work crappy jobs.

So they chose America. But why?

Because they got paid to go there. Today we call them Venture Capitalists. VC’s. Back in the 1600s they were known as Merchant Adventurers but they operated they same way that VC’s do in today’s world. They funded long shot businesses. Back then it was people willing to risk their lives sailing for months to potentially profitable parts of the “New World”. The Merchant Adventurers paid for the ship and the supplies and the Pilgrims signed on to a 7 year deal to send back all manners of goods from America to England. And that ship, the vaunted Mayflower, was actually only about half filled with Pilgrims. The rest of the passengers were simply in it to make some cash. They didn’t give two shits about “Religious Freedom”.

So in short – 50% of the passengers on the Mayflower weren’t even Pilgrims. The ones who were Pilgrims were there as participants in a profit sharing enterprise and the whole thing was funded by a VC.

Yeah that’s about as far from the myth of the righteous and pious Pilgrims fleeing nasty English persecutors in search of precious Religious Freedom as you can get.

So the moral of the story is when you think it’s not about money, you wrong cuz ITS ALWAYS ABOUT MONEY!

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