Hi-Top Top 3 Reasons @NBA_topshot is the DUMBEST Thing Going Right Now

The world is truly WILD right now. We have a pandemic running unchecked throughout the globe, a different natural disaster striking every other minute and maybe possibly CRAZIEST OF ALL is the rise of NBA Top Shots.

What the hell even is NBA Top Shot?

Well it’s sort of like a Sports Card except totally not. You collect them like cards except there’s no physical object. You buy a highlight but not really. You don’t actually own anything other than a digital doohickey on the app that says you “own” it.

Yeah it’s a hella dumb and yet:

Hi-Top Top 3 Reasons NBA Top Shot is the DUMBEST Thing Going Right Now

3. You don’t actually “own” anything

The tag line is “Own the moment!”. Okay cool. So I get royalties every time anyone watches a reply of my “moment”, right? No. Not all. You get nothing. But like I own it so I can tell YouTube to pull that clip of my moment off the Internet right? Ha ha. No. So what do I actually own? Nothing. You own nothing. The “moment” you purchase can be viewed for free anytime by anyone.

2. The “Moments” Kinda Suck

If you’re buying “moments” from the NBA you’d think the only “moments” worth buying or selling would be actual historical “moments”, right? Or at the very least big time plays, cool dunks, etc. Well how about a random PJ Washington dunk from a meaningless game in January:

How about a Dillon Brooks layup:

Look I get that not every card is a Zion Rookie and sometimes you end up with a pack of Bobby Thigpens but with Top Shots you’re buying actual “plays” from the NBA. An NBA game has hundreds of plays. Multiply that by thousands of games each season and well that’s a lot of “moments” to choose from. Certainly more than the number of players to make cards with so you’d think a Dillon Brooks layup simply wouldn’t make the cut. Nope cold hard cash for a Dillon Brooks layup.

1. The Prices are INSANE!

I totally get the desire and even the need to want to upgrade the card collecting hobby for the 21st Century. Make it cool and digital and snappy for all the hip millennials – the Lil’ Dogg is hip and cool and down with the flippity flop – but these prices are ridiculous!!!!

I just randomly cherry picked that off Twitter but in what world is a highlight clip of a John Wall layup worth more than say $0.10? And it just gets crazier from there, going up into the hundreds and thousands and many thousands range. People are dropping luxury car money on these “moments”. And again all your buying is a highlight clip than anyone else can watch for free.

So there you have it folks. The latest and greatest craze in separating people from their money. Facts is facts and the fact is that when it comes to getting people to spend crazy dollars on irrelevant and eventually useless things the Internet stays undefeated. Kudos to the charlatans behind Top Shot, you are truly achieving the American Dream – getting idiots to pay you for no reason at all.

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