People Mad they Won’t Get “I Voted” Stickers, per Globe reporter who made it up

Been a while since I’ve blogged, Lil’ Dogg has been carrying place on his back. I’ve been content to push his great stuff out on social, and run some of our “burner-account-related endeavors”. But it’s our 3-year anniversary this week, so I’m jumping back in full bore. Let’s see if I remember how to do this.

For my first turn back at the wheel, why not tackle something light… like the election. We sit out politics for the most part, but when something so completely and obviously ludicrous, stupid, and (hopefully) completely fabricated comes along, that happens to be politics-adjacent like this is, I have to bring it up.

Right away, like any good headline should, this one grabs you. Makes you think “Are you fucking serious, right now?”. As I went on to read this dumpster fire of an article, I’m growing concerned that all the Boomers are right…the young generation has our society doomed. After all this is an entire piece, in a (once)respected newspaper, about grown adults, who are actually (allegedly) upset they won’t get STICKERS?!?!

Well, this is what the writer will have you believe is a big problem right now, anyway. We have a SHITSTORM of, well…shit, surrounding this election, a goddamn pandemic going on, and Steve Annear of the Boston Globe thinks we should worry about STICKERS?!?!

I realized right away, something didn’t seem to make sense:

Audrey Didier was counting the days until the upcoming election, eager to take part in the democratic process in a pivotal presidential year.

The 19-year-old from Westborough was also excited for something else: joining the legions of voters who celebrate their civic involvement by placing a small, oval sticker on their shirts that proudly proclaims “I Voted.”

But that dream was dashed recently when Didier fished around inside the envelope containing her mail-in ballot. To her dismay, the tiny token of democracy was not there.

Mr Annear is REALLY hamming it up here right off the bat.

My six year old didn’t get a sticker last time she was at the dentist. She whined a little bit, but managed to overcome that adversity much easier than Steve would have you believe the people (singular person, who is probably just the writer’s friend) in this article. This is not how real adults react to things. Even the expert cited in the article seems to agree with me:

“We live in a world of memes, of emojis, of visual content that expresses things — how we feel, what we do, who we are. And the ‘I Voted’ stickers reflect that as well,” said Charles Stewart III, a political science professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. “For adults, they’re almost like captain’s wings you get as a little kid for flying on an airplane.”

Stewart III, obviously put off by the entire premise, gives the beginning of a polite answer, then just comes off the top rope on Annear. For most real journalists, this may have signaled time to step back and regroup, but not our hero. No, Steve had the premise for this article already set in his head, and he’s going to plow forward no matter what.

Annear goes on to quote virtually nobody else who was upset by the lack of stickers, but did spend time calling city and town clerks’ offices to waste their time answering stupid questions. Most towns seem to not be handing them out during a pandemic, because, well, WHO FUCKING CARES THEY ARE STICKERS, but Steve doesn’t rest there. He found some lunatic in New Jersey, who is committed to mailing out stickers to mail-in voters who didn’t get one. There is a young woman in Somerville doing something similar, and some FB groups are organizing. This is all an utter and total waste of time, money, and enthusiasm. In the end, no conclusion is drawn, or solution presented.

To summarize, some clown from the Boston Globe decided he’d write about how people are truly upset they won’t get stickers. He found one person to agree to say she was. Then he wasted the time of himself, city and town officials, the 42 readers who actually clicked on it, and most importantly me, trying and failing to prove this is a real issue. And his editors just put it through, because, well, mail-in voting stories probably play to their subscriber base?

YAY JOURNALISM!

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