Hi-Top Top 5 – People who “Discovered” America Before that punk Columbus

Facts is facts and the fact is October is the best month of the year. And it’s really not even a contest. The best weather – crisp and cool but the sun is nice and the fall foliage can’t be beat. The most fun holiday – Halloween. The best month for sports – All major sports in full swing. Even the over hype for all things pumpkin spiced can’t knock October. Really the only mark against the month is the continued celebration of that Italian punk who shall not be named. In addition to being an all-time terrible human, he didn’t even do the thing he is celebrated for doing.

Hi-Top Top 5 People who “Discovered” America Before that Other Punk

5. Saint Brendan

Score one for the Irish, god knows they need a historical win beyond potatoes. Legend has it that this Irish monk who travelled extensively made it across the Atlantic in the Sixth Century.

4. Zheng He

A small but dedicated group of scholars believe a Chinese mariner made it to the shores of the New World in 1421, 71 years before that other dude. Alas while He from the Ming Dynasty was most certainly a real life explorer, the evidence that He made it to America is very slim.

3. Jesus

The Peacemaker is a bedrock of certain Native American religions and traditions and bears as striking resemblance to the stories of Jesus. There’s also other legends of Jesus appearing to Natives after his crucifixion. Either way there’s lots of talk about Jesus in the Americas.

2. Leif Eriksson

The Vikings most definitely sailed to the eastern shores of present day Canada. Leif Eriksson is the most celebrated of those Viking sailors who established settlements in Newfoundland and may have stayed for years before returning to Greenland in the 10th Century.

1. Native Americans

Ummmm hello. You can’t discover a place that has been settled for like 50,000 years.

The history of the Americas is littered with atrocities and of all of them the Native Americans continue to get the short end of the stick. Yes Indigenous Peoples Day sounds ridiculous but isn’t it more absurd to continue to “celebrate” one of the most vile humans to ever live.

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