Giant Corporation @Barstoolsports is asking for an Internet Bailout cuz they’ve run out of Ideas

Tough look for the self proclaimed King of All Internet.

An open casting call to the entire World Wide Web???? Desperate times call for desperate measures I suppose but man o’ man does this look bad.

It’s truly a sad day when a Corporate Behemoth like Barstool Sports has fallen on such hard times. Are we looking at a Lehman Bro’s situation here? Does Barstool need some sort of Internet bailout?

Have they really run out of ideas????

We have already seen Barstool pivot into their “Howard Stern Phase” where 95% of the content they are “creating” is just fake inter-office “controversy”:

“Barstool Bob said something mean to Intern Egghead. Please buy this ugly Tee Shirt to support Intern Egghead.”

Look the Lil’ Dogg gets it. It’s hard for a mega corporate place like Barstool to remain in touch with the “Common Man”. You can’t keep your pulse on the street when you live on the 51st Floor of an Ivory Tower.

Perhaps it’s time for Barstool to turn “edgy”. I’m just spitballin’ here but if you’re reading David, go ahead and nab any of these ideas free of charge:

Barstool Xtreme – Hard times mean hard pivots into a hardcore content. $9.99 a month will give you access to the Xtreme stuff – things like daily pictures of smokin’ hot babes, viscous celebrity takedowns and all the X Games coverage you can handle.

BSN – When in doubt always shorten your name to a new acronym. $9.99 a month will get you access to the new and improved and of course edgy, BSN with daily shows like “The Egg Sandwich Ratings” and “Which Barstool Personality will Get Divorced Next”.

Arena Tours – Take the show on the road. A cross country arena tour will really shake things up. Maybe even have one of those “electronic music raves” all the kids are into these days.

Let’s face it folks. The Barstool Brand is a lifestyle brand – the lifestyle of balding, middle aged white men. Corporate life is not sexy. Time to sex things up a bit boys. Controversy sells. That’s tough to hear at a buttoned up, bottom line place like Barstool but it’s the truth Ruth.

Barstool is the Establishment. And now the Establishment is asking the Underground to save their asses.

So here’s the proposal. $50 million and Hi-Top will step in and right the ship. We’ll add some much needed street cred to an otherwise tired mainstream brand. Don’t be embarrassed Barstool. It happens all the time. Nobody likes The Man. Nobody invites The Boss to the after work outing. Don’t be sad it’s over. Be happy it happened at all.

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