Well, well, well, who says bye week can’t be fun?
So, Krafty Bob let it be known that he’s “sent up the bat-signal” (as Greg Bedard referred to it last week) to Rob Gronkowski. In addition to Bedard, everyone from the NY Post to Bleacher Report to the local Patriots’ blogs, have weighed in on this. The QB himself, TB12, even had some run with the whole notion, and predictably the yahoos lost their goddamn minds over that.
Now, I’ve been in the “No Chance” camp all along. But I’ve also been on this beat long enough to know, sometimes when there is smoke around the Patriots, there is fire. There is at least enough buzz that I feel like I need to look into it.
And who better to reach out to than a “reporter” we featured last year. In case you’re too lazy to click on that link, lemme refresh your memory. This is a man who, while drunk on his own bachelor party, “reported” that he may have overheard Gronk telling some rando he was going to come back for the ’18 season. A man who, even though he failed to get confirmation, showed the bravery to report on it anyway. This man, of course, is son of the Cincinnati Bengals’ all time leader scorer Jim Breech, and self-proclaimed NFL Writer, John Breech @johnbreech . He’s a HiTop guy.
Repeated attempts to contact Breech have come up empty…just getting no response from @ or DM. To some, this would be nothing. But to me, a seasoned vet, this can ONLY MEAN ONE THING:
Gronk is on his way back to the Patriots. Hear me out.
Clearly, a guy as plugged in as @JimBreech can’t just spill the beans on the Gronk return willy nilly. I mean, this guy HAD HIS BACHELOR PARTY AT THE SAME PLACE GRONKOWSKI “HAPPENED” TO BE STAYING 18 MONTHS AGO. This guy is clearly inner circle.
It’s my deduction, that Breech and the rest of the Gronkowski camp will remain silent for now, until Drew Rosenhaus can finalize a deal with the newly launching Disney Plus, to livestream “The Rise of the Gronk” special later this month.
That’s right, folks! The biggest brands in entertainment- Star Wars, Mickey Mouse, and Rob Fucking Gronkowski- all aligned in one massive media blitz, and it’s coming soon to a device near you. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I’ve reached out directly to Rosenhaus and Breech about this, saying if you don’t deny this, I’m going to assume it’s true…and have received no response. So…I’M SAYING IT’S CONFIRMED.
GET READY PATS’ FANS…#87 WILL BE BACK BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.