Oh the humanity!!!!!
My dear dear fellow Base Ball devotees. Our hearts are broken in the midst of what should be such a joyous time. The most spectacular showcase of our beloved Game has been ruined by an act, indeed two acts of such crude, crass behavior that I, HBT Opinion Giver, can hardly stand to even type these words.
I speak directly to you two heathens now:
Base Ball is a gentleman’s pursuit. Dignity and respect are the Game’s twin pillars. You have betrayed the very soul of the endeavor you claim to love. You have broken the rules that go unsaid. And that is a sin that is unforgivable.
From the authority granted to me by the Royal Society for the Advancement and Preservation of Base Ball History and Folklore, Coppersville Montana Chapter I hereby declare you SUSPENDED from all of Base Ball for a period of no less than all of eternity.
You have besmirched our Pastime and for that you must pay the ultimate price.