Led By Celtics, Terrible Team USA (Not) Shockingly Embarrasses Country, Entire Sport

As if the date September 11th needed any more terrible shit associated with it, the team put together by USA Basketball was eliminated in the QUARTER-FUCKING-FINALS of the FIBA World Cup this morning.

team usa loss

This group of All-Star great star quasi-relevant NBA players managed to claw their way to 5 World Cup wins– including a legendary 1-point OT victory against powerhouse Turkey– and ultimately succumbed to a French team that…well, they have 2 or 3 guys you may have heard of if you’re a hardcore NBA fan. The 89-79 (TEN POINTS!) loss snapped a streak of FIFTY-EIGHT straight USA wins.

There is some good news, though, as pointed out by Lil’ Dogg:

Olympics USA BBALL

Well, if that’s what we’re looking to do, merely qualify for slightly less meaningless tournament… then sure. These guys are your team. But I feel like if you’re going to use NBA Players, it’s either a team that will dominate all International competition, or it’s a complete embarrassment. Enough dicking around already. If the appetite isn’t there, fine. Just send amateurs.

Now I know over the summer on Celtics twitter, folks would have you believe Team USA was an exclusive squad. And that having 4 Celtics in the mix was somehow impressive…or an accomplishment of sorts. But no…it really wasn’t.

As you astute Hi-Toppers know, Celtics twitter is a really fucking weird place. I know this…and I was not having it. One could sort of say I predicted this team’s demise:


Bottom line is this. This USA Roster was, in fact, trash. Team USA plays in the Western Conference next year…maybe they’re a 4 seed. So we shouldn’t be surprised by this embarrassing loss. But rather, we should tear down the whole program, and go back to Amateurs. Let the college guys play…or even limit it to guys just drafted. Best of both worlds. Just don’t pretend you’re sending the “best of the best” to represent the USA, and send a roster that looks like this:


Team USA, as we’ve come to know it since Barcelona, is dead. Time to stop pretending, pull the plug, and move on.

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