100th NFL Season Opens with an Absolute Barn Burner of a Game

Do you like punts?

Do you like penalties?

Why am I even asking such ridiculous questions???? Of course you do. That’s why we just gotta have our NFL football.

Well last nights Packers-Bears clash of the midway monsters had an electric 37 PUNTS & PENALTIES!!!!!!!

There were more punts & penalties than first downs and it wasn’t even close folks. Just check out the amazing stats these two professional teams put up:

Listen NFL, you had me at “more first downs from penalties than rushing attempts”. Truly you did. That’s exactly what I want from my football. Forget about those pesky Touchdowns. Give me yellow flags or give me death, I say.

Jalen Hurts put up 508 yards BY HIMSELF in Oklahoma’s game on Saturday. That’s 41 yards more than both of these NFL teams combined. Now on the surface Hurts performance might sound exciting but when you really think about it he was being just plain gluttonous. Not to mention selfish. I mean what about the refs? They barely got to be on camera at all with that much actual football action going on. Do better next time Jalen. Do better.

But not to worry folks because the NFL is now in full swing and every Thursday, Sunday and Monday the professionals will cleanse your palette of all that amateur football nastiness of scoring and yards and stuff.

Who’s ready for some football punts & penalties!!!!!!!

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