As I’ve covered many times before…anything that calls itself an internet “CHALLENGE” is inherently stupid. Anyone partaking in such challenges can, and shall, be shamed for doing so. Anyone watching them…well, almost as bad.
This latest one, the #BottleCapChallenge, is no different.
As far as “Challenges” go, this one is pretty harmless, unlike eating tidepods, but it’s undoubtedly the lamest one I’ve seen since the Invisible Box. In this one, the “Challenger” is attempting to kick (an already open) bottle cap off a bottle with a roundhouse kick.
Let me allow this toolbag, “DJ” Diplo demonstrates for us, in an Insta video he posted shirtless (naturally) and from a beach in Ibiza (because, of course).
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Since no one requested me to do this (@johnmayer ) and also since no one thinks I'm good at anything except pushing button on stage .. here is evidence that I also do karate. I challenge Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Kevin Durant and Obama @sussexroyal @easymoneysniper @barackobama #bottlecapchallenge
Right off the bat, I am biased against all water-bottle related feats. I pulled an Earl Weaver and legit went off on my kids’ Little League team for flipping bottles in the dugout (S/O AA Braves), so clearly I was going to hate this no matter what.
But, like so many of these stupid things, the doesn’t require any real measure of talent to accomplish this with UNLIMITED TAKES. I’d say with between 5-25 reps of practice, easily 95% of the population can complete the “Bottle Cap Challenge”, thereby making it…you guessed it…NOT A CHALLENGE at all.
Making it worse is this fake “community” aspect of it. All these fools acting like they’re friends, “challenging” each other to create a little bit of wind with their leg. Oh please. Like Megan Markle or Obama would let Diplo within 5 miles of them.
And now a BONUS Next Stupid Thing
I’m sure you’ve seen the video of the too-dumb-to-live teen in San Antonio who chased the likes by opening and licking a Blue Bell Ice Cream before putting it back on the shelf. Well, of course, this has inspired other irrelevant idiots to complete similar “feats” for social media love to fill the gap in their otherwise empty souls.
This chick is apparently a minor, so her name wasn’t released. But I have faith in you, Internet. There are very few labels I hate more in this world than “doxing” or whatever the kids are calling it…but y’all should probably stop screen-grabbing 8 year old tweets from draft picks, and DOX the shit out of this little brat. And anyone else who has posted these videos for that matter. If they’re willing to mess with the food supply, and create hysteria (I’m serious, people are going NUTS over this), I have no sympathy for them.
You do something that disgusting and selfish, I believe you need to be PUT IN JAIL FOR A MINIMUM OF 5 YEARS. But since internet bullying is already such a prevalent issue, why not use its power for good?! I wouldn’t mind seeing these people singled out, turned into outcasts, and have their internet lives (the only true lives these morons know) ruined. Ya know, before FLOTUS ends being mean on the internet once and for all.
That’s all tongue in cheek because I know none of that will happen…these creatins will keep getting all the love.