Let me start by saying two things – 1) The only version of “Shallow” that I have ever heard is what was performed on stage at the Oscars:

And 2) I will never spend one willing second listening to this travesty ever again so anyone saying “the recorded version is different” or whatever can go kick rocks cuz the Lil’ Dogg don’t care.

All that being said “Shallow” is a laugh out loud hilariously bad song for many reasons. The lyrics are trash. The melody is weird and strained. The stretching out of the world shalllllallllallalllooooooow is Middle School Talent Show level hackery. The song is in no way memorable. In fact it’s down right forgetful. Which I suppose is it’s best quality in that I can’t even really remember anything about it other than it being over wrought and terrible.

Facts is facts and the fact is Shallow stinks.