Kraft Isn’t a Felon…He’s Just a Joke

Obviously, you’ve heard the NEWS…

Felate-gate. Ejacul-gate. The Happy Ending Heard ‘Round the world.

Whatever you want to call it, Bob Kraft’s sleazy massage parlor handy was the biggest story in the country when it broke Friday- hardly anyone even noticed that lifelong scumbag R Kelly was finally indicted- and it’s still got a grip (ahem) on everyone in Patriots land, and much of the sports world.

The takes are fast and furious on this one.

We have flat out insane takes, like Bart Scott:

To the overreaching social media heroes looking for the old’ Twitter Attaboys* (Trademark Tom Slavin)

And everything in between.

Now, the one angle that Drellich brings up that is troubling in this one, is the human trafficking element. That’s a huge issue. However…I really think hanging that on Kraft is like saying anyone who’s ever taken a bump of the yayo is responsible for cartels blowing up half of Bogota. True, the demand fuels the business, but is any individual John supposed to conduct due diligence on the establishment? Don’t think there is a Consumer Reports, or Angie’s List for rub and tug joints.

Now, I really couldn’t care less about two consenting adults engaging in this type of stuff. It’s not for me, but hey, Kraft is a single guy and just looking for a good time, with no strings attached. We all know the famous quote:

“You Don’t Pay a hooker for sex, you pay them to leave”

Charlie Sheen, probably

So I really don’t get the over-the-top outrage over this…people saying he should lose the team, picks taken away, all that insanity. Ultimately, the hit is in the court of public opinion…he should end up paying a fine- 500K- and I’d be surprised if he didn’t put some money towards efforts in battling Human Trafficking- for PR and because he seems like a decent human being for the most part. I am sure this will accelerate him taking a step back from the forefront a bit more…which is welcome to me. He’s a bit much at this point anyway.

But what I will say is, Patriots fans are doing mental gymnastics trying to excuse him completely, engaging in What-about-ism, speculating that he was targeted because of Anti- Patriot or Anti-Trump bias, blaming the investigation…..


Face it, fellow New Englanders, Bob Kraft has become every bit the punchline that Jerry Jones and Jim Irsay are. You too, now have an out of control, old white “wildman”, as your teams’ owner; a major source of embarrassment to the franchise that has otherwise kept it together pretty well.

Let the haters have the victory lap. When you fight back with these stupid defenses, it not only makes you sound like a yahoo…it also takes away any and all credibility you have to point out the mistakes of others. Which, let’s face it, is the point of the internet.

Your owner…Bob, Robert, Mr Kraft, is a 77 year old who wears Air Force Ones 24/7, danced like a fool with Cadi B, is “friends” with Meek Mill, wears a ridiculous gold chain, and got caught getting $59 happy endings in a strip mall…don’t fight it. These are the facts of the case, and they are undisputed.

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