While part of me would love to regale you with sordid tales of New Year’s past- and believe you me, from Cases of Red Dog to Class Rings to sleeping in bathtubs, there are plenty of those stories- I’m going to chose to focus on this most recent turn from 2018 to ’19. I hope you don’t think any less of me*.
This year’s celebration was a tame one, as far as New Years Eve goes. A few cocktails, a rather impressive charcuterie board, and unsubstantiated rumors of my newfound appreciation of THC vaping in my kitchen made for a nice, low-key entry into 2019. So when I woke up on Jan 1, I was ready to go for the traditional ignore everything and everyone in favor of football day.
After watching all the games, here are my top takeaways:
VRBO Citrus Bowl: Lil’ Dogg’s early season faves, Kentucky, were able to hold off Penn State for a 27-24 victory. I’ve never liked Penn State, even before, as a school and a community, they rallied behind the chief coverup architect and the supremely overrated Joe Paterno, so I consider this a victory for us all.
OUTBACK BOWL: Why is the Outback still sponsoring a bowl game? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Well, ho-hum, Iowa wins and locks in their 700th consecutive winning season while never seriously competing for a title…aka, BC’s wet dream.
PLAYSTATION FIESTA BOWL: Why did Tostito’s stop sponsoring this? Fiesta Bowl is such a natural fit. It will always be Tostito’s Fiesta Bowl to me.
This one had world famous blogger and UCF Truther, Lil’ Dogg, all fired up early on:
“Tell me again how UCF doesn’t belong in the playoff”Jay “lil’ Dogg” Z, during 1st Q
But the Knights’ Repeat Unsubstantiated National Championship hopes were over as quickly as they begun, as LSU stormed ahead in the second quarter and didn’t look back. The fairy tale of UCF being among the best teams in the country ended…and by fairy tale, I mean completely made up and not based in reality.
Seriously, though, who could think this team has a legit playoff claim? They couldn’t beat the 4th best team in the SEC… a team who was blown out by Alabama.
One HTTA follower summed it up pretty well:
ALLSTATE SUGAR BOWL: Bevo, the ‘Horns mascot, tried to attack UGA, Georgia’s bulldog, before the game, and The ‘Dogs never recovered. This text exchange serves as our official recap:
THE ROSE BOWL
THE ROSE BOWL: The Granddaddy of them all, didn’t disappoint. Well, it kinda did, as the game wasn’t ever really close, and notorious scumbag Urban Meyer “went out on top” (zero % chance he’s done coaching, IMO), but who cares about that.
I am fully on the “Patriots need to trade everything for Dwayne Hastings” bandwagon. He is the heir apparent to Brady. Case closed.
Also, The Rose Bowl, along with the Masters, is one of the best televised events of the sports year. Dating back to the 🐐, Keith Jackson, and now with Fowler and Herbie, you always get the A-Team on the broadcast.
And is there a more perfect place to watch a football game? I mean…..