PETA, You Have Got to be Kidding Me

I’ve brought back the Le Cap Tool Belt of the Week award, and have decided the recipient is….PETA.


One would think it’d be hard to hate on an organization whose campaigns have brought us billboards of nude Eva Mendes, Tiraji P. Henson and Alicia Silverstone protesting fur… but once again, PETA has defied all logic with their latest effort.

The lovely, misguided, souls over there, have now taken aim at the classrooms of America, and with the goal of eradicating sayings and idioms that “perpetuate violence toward animals” and “send mixed signals to students about the relationship between humans and animals”. They go on to reference the fact that these phrases could be “offending vegans and vegetarians”, as those lifestyle choices have become more popular.

This sounds pretty serious…so let’s take a gander at the old list, shall we. Wait…can we say gander?

Oh C’mon

Look, I get that in today’s world, people are offended by stuff. And I have given up railing against every one of the instances of PC-ness running wild, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD…are you kidding me with this shit.

A few notes for my PETA friends….

You can’t feed scones to a bird…they are far too high in carbohydrates. I suppose in your little scenario here, PETA, the birds get too fat and they can’t fly, then they get eaten by a predator. HAHA, VERY FUNNY!!!

Isn’t Letting a Cat out of a bag a good thing? Why do you want to keep cats in bags, PETA??? Depending on what type of bag it is, it probably can’t breathe in there

I love bagels. Who doesn’t? A fresh bagel is a tremendous treat. And if someone brought them home, it’d be appreciated.  But not as much as bacon. Bacon > Bagels. That is a FACT. I know more than one vegetarian who never gave up bacon…that’s how good it is. Not to mention, don’t bagels just lead to cream cheese and lox…that can’t be good for business, PETA.

Also, beating a dead horse is not harmful in any way, shape or form to the animal. It’s dead. It does not care. Overfeeding a horse, however, IS a problem. We found a recent article in Equine Veterinary Journal (this is real, look it up) that found that overfeeding and obesity are major factors in misbehavior in horses. Way to go, PETA! In another study conducted right now, by me, I’ve found that misbehaving horses are 1 BILLION times more likely to be beaten than a dead horse.


Let’s get something straight….

We love animals here at HTTA. Hugely pro animal. From goldfish to Great Danes to Giraffes, we are big fans. And anyone who hurts animals is a special kind of douche.

Totally random stock photo of two douches big game hunting


And PETA probably does some good. I mean, I guess. They must, right? And taking ridiculous stances like this is probably good for business. Any publicity is good publicity, you know. Except, I get the feeling they take themselves 1000% seriously.

Anyway, whatever the reasoning behind it, this one was good for nothing, except our entertainment. For that, thanks PETA.


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