Amateur English Football Team @NurseryInnFC has the best Tweet Game You’ll Ever See

First Division Hartlepool Sunday Football League club Nursery Inn FC had an incident with one of their players and the result was the greatest sports press release ever crafted:

As a club we’d like to wish Lewis Keers all the best as he parts ways with the Nursery Inn. The young CB has been sentenced to 18 months in a youth offenders institution for attempted robbery. We wish him all the best and hope he comes out less of a fucking idiot.

— Nursery Inn FC (@NurseryInnFC) November 25, 2018

Not ones to rest on their laurels after going viral the Boys subsequently released absolutely bonkers Player Profiles that are Must Reads:

Name: Ryan Keers
Position: Deep inside a fat goth
#16

Ryan is the club chairman. Honestly.

When not out till 4am hes seen wrestling with oversized drunken girls.

No longer plays but based his game around Michael Carrick who is believed to be a huge fan of our #16.

Our hero. pic.twitter.com/celAmLhhtE

— Nursery Inn FC (@NurseryInnFC) November 28, 2018

Name:Lewis Keers
Position:CB/Behind Bars
#12

About to go on loan to HM Prison Frankland.

The young cb has been kee(rs) to the Nursery since they formed in 2016

He has bailed us out many times, shame we cant bail him out.

Will miss him when he goes to prison. pic.twitter.com/KPBpUh1EY1

— Nursery Inn FC (@NurseryInnFC) November 27, 2018

Name: Ben Ward
Positon: CB
#8

Ben signed as a striker and now is the heart of the teams defence. Conducting the back 4 like the pied piper.

His ability on the ball is as good as his ability to sneak off back to his gf’s at midnight on nights out.

Works for the government btw pic.twitter.com/Yif0ZGt4Fn

— Nursery Inn FC (@NurseryInnFC) November 26, 2018

The whole thread is worth a look believe us.

These Nursery Inn lads just plain get it. Next time you are in Boston boys the pints are on Hi-Top.