Hi-Top Golf – God Bless Patrick Reed

The European Tour’s version of the Fed Ex Cup, called the Race to Dubai (yeah we will choose to ignore going in to the geo-political land scape of the Euro Tour culminating in the Mid East) wrapped up recently and of all people, good ol’ Pat Reed was the lone American out touting his own horn:

Whether finishing in the top 5 is even a worthy enough accomplishment to be splashed about in your personally made Twitter “congratulations”….honestly this dude or rather his “team” jumped on to photoshop to create this made up accomplishment – how ridiculous is that?????

Okay okay that’s neither here nor there cuz what is really worthy of discussion is the absolutely bonkers photos that get chosen by Reed and his team.

This is Reed’s Twitter Bio Photo:

Biggest moment of your life. I get it. Super duper huge accomplishment. Yes. And you can’t find 1 photo were you don’t look like you just got done taking down a 64 ounce steak at Sizzlers????

Look at these facial expressions:

These are NOT good looks my dude!!!!

Patrick my man. Can I call you Pat? Listen Pat the Lil’ Dogg is here to help.

You’re a schlubby dude. It’s okay. A lot of people are. In fact you should be using this to your advantage. You’re not some physical specimen like Brooks and DJ. You’re just an average dude out there grinding. You’re relatability in the looks department is off the charts. Stop trying to be cool. Stop trying to be intimidating. Just be you. A schlubby dude.

Look at this Team Reed logo:

First of all, drop the whole “Team” thing. Secondly what the hell is this graphic???? It looks like my 10 year old nephew’s fake Call of Duty squadron. You’re a golfer Pat not an Army Sergeant. Look it’s not your fault 99.9% of athletes with personal logos have TERRIBLE personal logos. If you need to have some spirit animal personal logo how about a Beagle or a Collie. A sad sap looking dog. You’re not a lion or a tiger. You’re a lost puppy Pat. That’s just who you are. Lean into it.

These are just a few ideas Pat cuz what you are doing right now is not working pal. Facts is facts Pat. Facts is facts.

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