There’s been a lot of scuttlebutt this weekend about the Cleveland Browns supposedly considering former Secretary of Something (sorry we don’t do politics) Condoleeza Rice as their next Head Coach. Sadly as great as that would have been, all parties are now disowning any such talk:
However, these reports did pique our interest here at Hi-Top HQ and through our various network of sources and confidantes we were able to get a copy of the 100% totally real final list of candidates that the Browns are for real considering. Tots.
Let’s have ourselves a gander shall we:
That’s a solid list right there folks.
First off, there’s only two dead guys and they were both excellent coaches so props to the Browns Search Committee on that one.
Then the Browns really get cooking. So many teams are tied to these old school “Coaching Trees” – “He’s from the Buddy Ryan Tree. Gotta Have him.” Whatever happened to just grabbing the brightest coaching mind available? Denzel has a widely heralded State Championship under his belt and he did it with a tough locker room situation. He knows how to get guys to commit to the Jersey.
Bernie Sanders on the other hand, that’s just a guy that deserves his shot. See what he can do if given the chance right.
Now John Elway basically destroyed the Browns franchise back in ’87 so its only right that he be the one to bring the team back to glory. Outside of the box thinking is key here folks and the Browns are showing it in spades.
Condi Rice may have gotten the headlines but it looks like it was all a distraction to keep rival teams off the hunt for the real female candidate – The Quaterback Princess herself Ms. Helen Hunt.
And well Drew Carey. I mean the guy is the unofficial Mayor of Cleveland. He might as well coach the football team.