It’s late November folks, hard to believe I know, and that means it’s the Turkeyest Time of Year.
Now last November Hi-Top HQ brought you the Top 5 Best and Worst Thanksgiving Dishes and while the Lil’ Dogg doesn’t mind tooting his own horn (😉) it’s no small feat to say that there article is one of the greatest things ever created by the English language. The picks are indisputable and the jokes are well frankly hilarious.
For this year we are stepping away from the diner table to take a rundown of the best non-food Thanksgiving Day traditions.
Top 5 Thanksgiving Day Traditions
5. Watching the Macy’s Parade
For 364 days out of the year there are two categories of people – Parade People and Non-Parade People. But on Thanksgiving Morning everyone is a Parade Person. You got your giant floating Snoopy. You got your High School Marching Bands from Minnesota. You got your random D List Celebrities. Meanwhile you are lying on a couch nursing a killer hangover from the after effects of the Biggest Drinking Night of the Year. That’s a perfect Thanksgiving Morning right there.
4. Making Absurd Claims about Playing a Game of Tackle Football Next Year
The Thanksgiving Morning Pick-Up Football Game only exists on TV Sitcoms (the greatest of all of course being the Gellar Cup Friends Thanksgiving Day Game). Nobody in real life actually does this except for maybe a few of those super weird families that try way to hard. Normal people are either too busy actually preparing food for Thanksgiving or too hungover to get their asses outside and do any sort of physical activity. That being said there are always a lot of bold claims about how we should get together and toss around the ol’ pigskin and how awesome it would be and blah blah blah cuz it ain’t ever happening.
3. Complaining About the Detroit Lions
Why do the Lions HAVE to play the morning Thanksgiving Day game? Cuz ahhhhhhh ummmmm tradition!!!!!! It makes no sense. Literally nobody would give two shits of this was changed. Will it? No of course not. This is the NFL we are talking about here folks.
2. The Skins Game
Vin Scully on the mic. Jack and Arnie. Player and Watson and Trevino. Tiger v Phil is nice and all but what golf really really really needs to do is bring back the Thanksgiving Weekend Skins Game.
1. The Post Meal Nap
The Post Thanksgiving Day Meal Nap might just be the high point in human existence. Your belly is full, your basic needs met, now you can relax on a couch or nestle into a recliner and fall into a deep deep tryptophan slumber. Perfection.