Our Long National Nightmare is Over – George Clooney is OK!!!!!

Scary news out of Italy this morning as reports came in that George Clooney had been injured in a car accident. Well updated reports are saying Clooney is doing well:

Now for those unaware George Clooney is basically the patron saint of Hi-Top. The man invented our #1 menswear look of all-time, the suit sans tie, aptly named The Clooney:

So obviously when we heard there had been accident involving our George, we were on edge until the facts came in. And of course the facts are so very very Clooney:

1. He was in Italy

Well of course he was in Italy. The dude has an Italian Villa ya know.

2. This was NOT a prank

In case you were unaware, the Cloonster is quite the practical joker. He just loves to play pranks on set, especially with his good pals Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. He’s a real rascal.

3. He was on a scooter

No Duh. He was in Italy so Italy = scooter. That was just assumed. No need to even report that one.

4. No serious injuries or broken bones

Thank the good Lord.

To recap, Clooney was in Italy and his scooter crashed into a Mercedes but he’s fine because he’s George Clooney goddamnit and don’t you ever forget that!

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