I’m what you call an idea man. I’ll stop short of calling myself an inventor, because I generally stop well short of execution. Take HTTA for example…thought that up. But if it wasn’t for Lil’ Dogg doing all the leg work (literally just signing up for WordPress), we wouldn’t be here today.
But, nevertheless, I have quite a resume of ideas.
My most famous ideas would have to be Movie-oke and the Laundromat/ Bar (named Sudz). I still think both of these are actually winners.
But, it’s like they say….you never forget your first. And my first great idea is actually hitting the market very soon (sort of).
Let me take you back a bit…
It was 1995. People were wearing flannel and Co-ed Naked shirts, there were numerous Alt Rock bands with female lead singers, everyone drank Red Dog….you remember.
Bennygloves and I were just some young #bootstrapguys, always looking to entertain ourselves (usually entertained others, too, no big deal). During one of our routines, we arrived on the concept that there hasn’t been a new condiment to hit the market- at least not one that really stuck- in forever. After some quick riffing, we came up with Tomayo. What is Tomayo? It’s a ketchup and mayonnaise mix, in one bottle.*
*Don’t you dare tell me, that’s just French Dressing. NO. You’re wrong, you barbarian. French Dressing has a bunch of added spices in it, namely paprika, as well as additional tomato paste.
Right off the bat, we had some doubters. A lot of people thought it sounded gross, questioned who would buy it…really just haters, raining on the parade of two young #bigthinkers .
Well, if you doubters are reading this now- which you definitely are, judging by our ever-increasing volume of webclicks- y’all can SUCK IT!!!!!
Why? Because TWENTY THREE years later, a company is taking our idea to market.
“Who? What company would do such a ridiculous thing?!?!”
Well, I’m glad you asked, small-minded losers, who never had an original thought in your life. A little outfit known as The H.J. Heinz Company, that’s who!
That’s right…the big guys of the ketchup world. Let’s be honest…the ONLY guys in the ketchup world. If you eat Hunt’s…get the hell out of here. If you buy generic…well, I’m sorry, I can’t help you. We spring for the Heinz around here….no big deal.
My only problem with the whole thing, though, is that they ROYALLY screwed up on the name.
Mayochup ?!?! So bad. I invented the damn thing, and I wouldn’t buy it with that name. They need to act fast…before they print the labels, they have to switch it up.
I spoke to Benny, and we’re prepared to make the following offer to the folks at @HeinzKetchup_US . You can have the name TOMAYO, and all we want in return is
- A One Year Supply of Tomayo
- A retweet of this post
- A Limited Series of 100 Bottles with an HTTA Label, and with Le Cap and Bennygloves signatures.
You guys are business guys…we’re business guys….let’s get this done.