Apparently last night was Wrestlemania.
Hi-Top HQ’s normal Chief Wrestling Correspondent The Sleepy One was last seen Stone Cold Stunning random people at Humarock Beach last Fall so if anyone has seen him let us know. Alas that leaves this pup to take up Main Event reporting duties.
Now admittedly the Lil’ Dogg hasn’t paid much attention to Pro Wrestling since Raven was sitting forlornly in the corner of the squared circle back in the WCW days (the late 90s were very angsty days for us all):
But much like time itself, Pro Wrestling marches on ceaselessly and the WWE has ebbed and flowed itself right back into sports pop culture relevancy.
However at last night’s Wrestlemania, the WWE finally ran out of gimmicks.
In the Tag Team category the storyline was that a wrestler named Braun Strowman claimed that he was so good or whatever that he didn’t need a partner and could win the title all by himself. I’m just guessing here (since who the hell would pay $150 or whatever they charge now to see this thing) but I assume ol’ Braun was told that since it was Tag Team match he needed to be part of a “team’ to compete. So instead of having a wrestling partner Braun choose a fan from the crowd:
And here’s where the Lil’ Dogg is going to call BS on this whole thing.
Spoiler alert: Wrestling is fake.
We all know this. But this “kid” Nicholas is faker than fake. He’s obviously an actor. No duh. The legal liabilities of actually pulling a “fan” into the ring are such that Moneybags McMahon wouldn’t even entertain the idea but my real problem is that they aren’t even trying to sell this as real. If you are going to get an actor to do this at least get a good one. “Nicholas” is wearing a generic “Wreslemania” shirt. His hair is way too long (only actor kids rock hair like that) and his in-ring performance was just a tad too thespian-like. This kid just screamed “Acting Class Veteran” the entire time.
C’mon WWE. You are better than this. The “Pull the Kid Out of the Crowd Move” is the desperate, last gasp of someone that has nothing else up their sleeve. Is this really all you can come up with? At least if you were going to use a “kid” you could have gone with the real deal:
Raven’s Flock 4 Life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!