Pats’ Offseason Priority: Quit Bitching!

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This offseason is an important one for the New England Patriots. Whether it’s replacing Danny Amendola or Dion Lewis, adding to a weak defensive unit, or when they’ll acquire their next QB…there are a lot of questions that need to be answered.

There is one question above all, though, that I need to have answered:

When did the Patriots become such a bunch of whiny little bitches?

This isn’t about the whole team, really. It’s really just about a few guys, but it just so happens they are 3 of the 4 or 5 most important guys down there.

This shit seems like it’s been going on for a while, like it does with every organization everywhere. But the Pats have always been good at burying this stuff; keeping it from ever seeing the light of day. That changed this year.

 



 

It started with the Seth Wickersham piece that many Patriots’ fans treated as Fake News, but I’ll conservatively say was probably 97% accurate. The source for most of that story was pretty clearly pro-Belichick, and in reality was probably Belichick himself. It basically blamed Kraft for the whole Jimmy G thing and excused the poor return, pointed out that Brady might be a bit of a baby, and took a big steaming dump on Alex Guerrero…all while not really criticizing Bill.

C’mon Bill. You’ve got an 18 year track record here that speaks for itself. Now, all of a sudden, you need to go scorched earth, to make sure you don’t get blamed for anything and set yourself up for even more credit?! And you make a spectacle of banning the snake oil salesman from team facilities because you don’t like him getting any credit?  What a sensitive and insecure baby.

Then the whole Butler thing? What the hell was that?

 


 

Then comes TOM V TIME. The Facebook live series ultimately was not a whole lot more than the Brady propaganda machine hard at work. The guy who has, to his credit, consistently deferred to the team, was digging in. Tons of passive aggressiveness toward the team, and then the finale with him whining incessantly about “why am I doing this”, and G pointing out that he needs to be “happy and appreciated”…

I hate to go all Felger here, but…DUDE. You started pulling strings and your once-potential replacement got disappeared. You got the final rose. Now, you’re going to start whining about family time, and being appreciated??? Uh-uh. No way. You’ve been chirping about playing until your 45 to anyone who would listen. So just shut up and play.

Oh…your coach yelled at you in front of your friends…you didn’t get enough game balls…your coachie woachie downplayed the oowie wowie on your thumb….get over it. You know the drill. Put your head down and do your job. Stop being a baby.

 


 

And this brings us to Gronk. This guy started up about 5 minutes after the Superbowl ended with the whole “not sure about my future” stuff. The all the indecision. And the cryptic WWE tweets…the Danny A “Have fun, be free” tweet.

The media generally falls flat on things like this. They try to boil it down into two camps. They want it to be black and white. He either: A) Just wants a new contract or B) Hates it and wants out via retirement or trade

I think he probably did consider retirement for a bunch of reasons. Part of that is probably his contract, the conditions around the team, his personal enjoyment of the game….it’s all part of it.

I’ll say, if you want to retire…fine. You have every right to, bud. Nothing left to prove. But if you’re not going to retire, let’s stop with all the crap.

The only reason people know who you are is because of the exposure you get playing in Foxboro. Yes, you are the best TE in the game and (for my money) the best ever. But under most circumstances, that and 99 cents gets you a coffee at Cumberland Farms. There is no “Tony Gonzalez” brand. Nobody ever cared who the hell Ozzie Newsome was. You are who you are because you landed in New England. So get over yourself. Stop having “conditions” and sulking around. If you’re in, you’re in.

 




 

Now look, I’m not sounding the alarms. They were close to winning the Superbowl, and if they had, none of this would be half as bad as it is now. But the fact is, they did lose, and it’s all hitting the fan.

If these overgrown babies can get their heads screwed on straight, this could be a good thing. It might take the intervention of Bobby K to do this, but this could turn into a positive.

Air it all out. Get in a room and bitch at each other. Do all your whining. And then come to an agreement.

Look, we are probably stuck together for 2 years. Let’s make the most of it. Bill, maybe give in a little bit, without giving up your entire belief system. Tom, maybe suck it up and stay on script a little more. Gronk…just keep dominating, and maybe we’ll throw you a few extra bucks or let you dance once in a while.

It’s not that hard, people. Put your fragile little egos aside and quit all the bitching. You all benefit from the next couple of years being a success, and a big part of your legacies will be the lasting impression you leave with. Try not to let it devolve into any more of a shitshow.

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