Augusta is Fantastically Obnoxious

masters

It’s officially Masters week. We’re fired up over here. As part of our 18 Day Masters Preview, we want to give you some of the rules of Augusta.

Augusta is truly one of the more obnoxious places imaginable, and The Masters just highlights it for the rest of the world.

There are a ton of ridiculous customs and rules enforced, and as part of our 18 Day Maters Preview, we’ve picked out some of the better factoids about Augusta for you.

I should say, I whole-heartedly endorse these measures. If you’re going to be elitist, you might as well own it. Go all in. People pretend it annoys them, but let’s face it…they’re just all jealous. If the PGA Championship (the bastard stepchild of the Majors) tried to pull some shit like this, nobody would bother playing in it. But let’s face it…you need the Masters more than Augusta needs you.

Without further delay, here are some of the most obnoxious things about Augusta:

  • TV Coverage is so closely guarded by Augusta and The Masters. Very limited hours are televised. There is streaming, but it’s only certain groups, or certain holes.
  • Only 4 mins of commercials per hour are allowed.
  • Broadcast crew not allowed to refer to “fans”, “spectators” or “crowd”, they must be called “patrons” or “gathering”.
  • There is no “rough”…it’s the “second cut”.
  • In 1995, broadcaster Gary McCord said “They don’t cut the greens” at Augusta, they “use bikini wax”. He was subsequently banned from the Masters.
  • Until the 80’s, players weren’t allowed to use their own caddies…now they can, but they need to wear the jump suit.
  • Backwards hats are not allowed on the grounds at any time…even for players.
  • Foldable chairs are allowed, but for some unknown reason, not chairs with armrests.
  • Running is not allowed on the grounds.
  • There are only like 300 members, and you can’t apply…invite only.
  • Bill Gates once mentioned publicly that he wanted to become a member. Augusta refused to let him in for years because of this.
  • Even if you are a member, you can hardly play the course. It’s closed for weeks during Masters’ prep, and closed all summer.

Augusta, you keep being you. You fantastic, elitist bastards.

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