Le Cap Reviews Roseanne Reboot

I’m all for nostalgia when it comes to TV– who am I fooling? I freakin’ hate these ridiculous reboots. The only TV remake I want to hear about is Hawaii 5-0…that show is the BALLS. Scotty Caan…that good lookin’ Aussie dude…kiddin’ me?! Great show.

Anyway, last night was the debut of the big Roseanne reunion. *Spoiler Alert* this was a hot pile of garbage. Like, possibly one of the worst things I’ve ever seen produced for television. And if you know me at all, that’s a tall order. I watch some shitty TV.

Culprit #1 was the writing. “Poorly Written” is way too soft. It implies that it was bad, but possibly salvageable. This was disgracefully written. They could’ve had the greatest cast ever assembled and it couldn’t have bailed out this shitshow of a script.

Speaking of cast….Roseanne, John Goodman and Aunt Jackie were legends 20 years ago, but none of them have had a regular role in a relevant sitcom since. When you’re not at the top of your game for that long, it really shows. Darlene really came into her own during the original run, but apparently being on the Fake View didn’t keep her sharp. She was the only decent one in the reboot, but even she was mediocre at best. The rest of the cast was WEAK. They clearly should’ve just gone with Becky Number 2 as Becky, and I’m pretty sure DJ  not only hasn’t been in a show since 1997, I’m not sure he’s had a meaningful interaction with another human being, judging on his performance here.

But it’s not completely the fault of the cast. The entire premise of this remake/reboot is lazy as shit. Let’s get the gang back together and we’ll just build the entire thing around the election…you know, the election that ended 18 months ago. And we’ll pretend it just happened recently.

(Update: I couldn’t give a shit less who a fictional family, fictionally voted for. If people like or dislike a sitcom based on politics…well, hey, not everyone is bright…and we’ll leave it at that)

And in a twist that is sloppily revealed about 90 seconds after it’s set up, the Connors voted for the guy who won. This apparently led to them having lost all contact with Jackie, but not to worry, she’s back in the fold immediately- and she and Roseanne back to their witty banter. But, just in case you didn’t get the point, there is a gender confused grandchild, a mixed race other grandchild, and a 40-something year old daughter with conflicting views on her reproductive rights. Shockingly…Roseanne and Dan learn from them, and support them all in the long run, because….family. It’s almost unbelievable this all came together on the same day! Convenient, huh?

It boils down to the fact that this show was bad in every conceivable way. They took what was, at its peak, a great sitcom, unlike any of its era, and turned it into a cheap money grab trading on the nostalgia and divisiveness of a majority of its original fans.

Everyone associated with this show should be embarrassed and conflicted about taking a paycheck, and hopefully they’ll be put out of their misery soon and we’ll all be saved from future pain and suffering. Note to Johnny Gelecki…if you appear on this show it might be bad enough to ruin whatever is left of Big Bang…and your career.

Other than that, Mrs Lincoln…how was the play.

 

 

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