Hi-Topper Nation you have been warned:

Zlatan Mania is coming to a town near you this summer!!!!!!

For the uninitiated, Zlatan is a God Among Men.

Watch the Zlatan Kung-Fu Strike a ball 30 yards over his head into the net:

Very rarely does the Zlatan simply kick a ball. Instead the Zlatan manipulates gravity, breaks into the fourth dimension of time and space then contorts his body like a 1000 year old Yogi striking poses on the steps of the Taj Mahal while using his mind to control not only the ball itself but all who may have found themselves within the rarified air that surrounds the Zlatan then and only then does the Zlatan instruct the ball to enter the opposing team’s net and become graced with the sanctity of being a small part in a Zlatan Goal.

The Zlatan is Coming!

Prepare yourself accordingly.