O.A.R. Colluding with Russians?

Hello Hi-Toppers!

It seems as if this Russia collusion business stretches much farther than any of us even realize. Sources are showing that late 90’s/early 00’s faux intellectual white hippie jam band  O.A.R. have been confirmed to be using Russia to hang on to what little relevance they have in today’s musical landscape. What in the hell is happening in the world?!

Apparently, since the Russian Olympic team was flushed out of the Olympics for doping, they formed a new group named the Olympic Athletes from Russia, also known by the anagram O.A.R. It didn’t take long for the connection to be made and for people to unfortunately start remembering that the band O.A.R. were a thing that existed.




In speaking with ESPN, the front man of the band even goes so far as to use the attention from the Russians to push the band’s new single and tour. The dude must feel like he’s in “Paradise” (what a generic name… typical) over all of this. Fun fact, the R in O.A.R. stands for Revolution…. maybe this is a reference to some sort of Communist Revolution the band is going to use to take over the aging hipster populace of America! Before this, the band’s relevance was limited to douche frat houses and wannabe intellectual white boyz getting stoned in their parent’s basements. Now, with an international presence looming, who knows what could happen next. It seems as though the band is hoping to leave their old image “shattered” in lieu of a broader image of international jam band darlings. God save us all.  Aren’t the likes of Dave Matthews, Phish, 311, and whatever incarnation of the Dead that currently exists enough for white boy jam band reggae groups? I fear this may be a sign that the world is truly ending.


Well, I wish you all luck with the upcoming Communist Hipster Jam Band Takeover. Until next time, this is the Sophomore signing out!


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