Working for the T is so bad this guy paid someone $2000 to beat him up

Strange things afoot at the

Well then again strange things always seem to be happening with T workers. A few years back there was the story about the T worker who was so annoying to his co-workers that he was assigned to sit all day every day at an empty building. Now we have a guy willing to not only get beat up but actually PAY someone else for the privilege of beating him up so he could go on disability.

Working for the T must really be awful.

From the outside it seems like a pretty sweet gig. You put in your years and in the end you get a nice little pension. Sounds good. Apparently not.

Now the Lil’ Dogg hates hates HATES riding the T. On the list of things I’d rather do before riding the T – needles in my eye, go to a Celine Dion concert, watch the Kardashian’s do anything, cut off my pinky toe, etc etc – you get the point. So having to drive a trolley day after day as your job, well I get this guys line of thinking. No thanks.

Now of course defrauding the public is bad and whatever happens to this dude he fully deserves but again being subjected to the T day after day drives pretty much everyone insane so here’s a few airtight excuses that might help this guys case.

1. The Smell

Find a way to bottle up some of the T’s patented odors and bring that with you to the courtroom.

Defendant – “Your Honor if it pleases the Court I would like to offer up as Exhibit A this bottle of Eau de Subway. Please your Honor take a sniff.”

Judge – *Sniff Sniff* “Not Guilty. You are free to go and you have the Court’s sincerest sympathies.”

2. A Sample Passenger

Witness #1 – Woman who thinks the whole world wants to hear her talk on the phone.

Witness #2 – Dude on the way to the airport taking up 5 seats with 37 luggage bags.

3. Challenge the Judge to ride a Subway elevator

Automatic Not Guilty right there

Listen what this guy did was wrong (and executed poorly) but if you’ve ever spent any amount of time on the T you can’t say you don’t understand why he did it.

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