The lineups for the NBA All-Star Weekend Celebrity Game were released today:
Let’s put aside for a second the fact that 90% of these “celebrities” are not even D List celebrities. They’re more like X or Y List celebrities. Rachel Demita? Ummm who? Andre De Grasse? Is that Neil De Grasse Tyson’s step-brother? Sterling Brim? That’s not a name that’s a major appliance.*
*Name that movie – answer at the end of the article
Obviously this year’s celebrity game is Must Skip TV (sorry Paul Pierce) but it did get the Lil’ Dogg thinking. Who would make the All-Time Celebrity Basketball Game roster?
To answer this important question we have to no doubt go all the way back to the heyday of celebrity hooping – Rock N Jock Basketball.
The Violaters and the Bricklayers competed in some epic battles back in the day and featured some serious celebrity ballers making this particular list a tough one. There were a few close calls (Dan Cortese was more coach than player so he gets cut) but in the end I think I nailed it like I always do.
Top 5 Celebrity Hoopsters
5. Michael Bivins
Boston boy Biv from Bell Biv Devoe fame had some skills at the guard slot which is to say he wasn’t a complete embarrassment a la Joey Lawrence and Stephen Baldwin.
4. Duane Martin
A veteran actor of actual basketball movies like White Men Can’t Jump and Above the Rim makes Martin a bit of a ringer here but nonetheless the dude could play.
3. Dean Cain
Superman was an actual D1 Ivy League Football Star in college so he had the pedigree and certainly showed his athletic skills translated to the basketball court.
The Naughty by Nature DJ stepped out from behind the decks to show that his cutting and scratching skills were nothing compared to his cutting and passing skills.
1. Michael Rappaport
Part comic relief, part low post threat and full time entertainer, a Rappaport appearance in a celebrity game was a guaranteed good time. Whether he was starting a fight or attempting a ridiculous behind the back pass, Rappaport was a presence on the court that you just couldn’t take your eyes off of.
That’s it. That’s the list. Facts is facts. These 5 were the best celebs to ever attempt a 25 point basket.
*Pretty in Pink. Team Duckie 4 Life