New EVIL Empire

With the Winter Olympics beginning tomorrow there are a few issues that we all need to make clear.

First, Le Cap and I apparently do not agree on any sports issues whatsoever. Im a huge fan of the Winter Olympics and find them just as entertaining, if not more, than the summer games. Also, the hockey tournament will be great because all teams are on the same level, as they were before 1998. I personally think the U.S should have went with college kids but thats me.

Second, with Russia being barred from the games its time to look at our new arch enemy. You guessed it…NORWAY.

They may have thought they have been flying under the radar all this time, but we know their real plan has been plotting and scheming.

Whats that? Norway is irrelevant you say, they are not a threat?! HUSH. Don’t be blind. That was their plan the whole time. To quote Usual Suspects, “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”.

Let’s look at some of the facts…. Norway is a country of a little over 5 million people. Not very big considering NYC has 8 million alone. Yet, they have produced some of the most influential people in history. Let’s start with the Vikings. The Vikings were known for their attacks on unsuspecting villages. They would destroy everything in their path and caused fear and panic throughout Europe…similar to modern day Norwegians.

Look at this picture. 1200px-Yalta_Conference_(Churchill,_Roosevelt,_Stalin)_(B&W).jpg

You know who you don’t see in it….that’s right, King Haakon VII. Now history will tell you that he resisted the Germans and his people stood up to German occupancy, but this pic tells another story. You can logically assume that if he wasn’t at the Yalta Conference he clearly was trying to destroy it.


My last point for today is their dominance at cross country skiing. Who really likes the ridiculous sport? Cross country skiing is what you do when you are trying to get from the bottom of the mountain to the chair lift and its the worst part of skiing. Norway has dominated at this sport. They have a total of 332 lifetime Olympic winter medals. 118 gold, and of those 53 are between cross country and nordic combine. Any country that dominates snow running in spandex can’t be trusted.


So my eye is on YOU, NORWAY!!! The good old US of A will be watching.

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