The 2018 Winter Olympics are more than a world sporting spectacle . They’re a historical event. Not because North & South Korea are marching together. Not because Russian athletes are supposedly competing as some weird fake nation of “individual athletes”. No none of these geo-political matters…umm…matter.
The reason this Winter Olympics are significant is because this is the very first Olympics being covered by Hi-Top Table Athletics. Some would even say based on the interest levels (or lack thereof) being generated that Hi-Top may actual have exclusive rights to covering these Olympics. So let’s get right to some preview action you will only find here.
Events to Keep Your 👀 On
Winter Olympic events are more like a collection of cold weather activities than they are actual sporting endeavors. You have precisely 1 Team Sport – Ice Hockey. Sure there’s some relay events but a relay race is more like a collection of individual events performed in a row that an actual “team” sport. This isn’t to say that relays are not exciting. I’d argue that Speed Skating relay is damn near exhilarating to watch. And I suppose Curling is done by a “team” too. Okay fine there’s a few team events but my original point still stands. And as you may have heard the NHL isn’t allowing Pros to participate in the Olympics. So go ahead and cross off Men’s Ice Hockey on your Olympic Viewing Schedule. Focus on the Women but here’s a pro tip. You don’t need to tune in until the Gold Medal match between Canada and USA.
The Lil’ Dogg is declaring himself officially OUT on Curling. Too much media hype. Every four years everybody’s all “Oh hey I could medal at Curling”. No you couldn’t. Enough. I’m done with Curling.
The Mountain Events
Skiing and Snowboarding get all the TV love. Lindsay Vonn and Shawn White are about to be elevated to American Hero status yet again. Been there, done that.
Instead give me:
THE NORDIC COMBINED
Cross-Country and Ski Jumping go together like peanut butter and a vodka tonic. Which is to say that they don’t go together at all but somehow the Nordic Combined just works. The event goes all the way back to the very first Winter Olympics and I truly hope we never see a Winter Olympics without it. The Nordic Combined is the very essence of the Olympic Spirit – that being the spirit of “why is this a sport? Oh okay this is awesome.”
It’s the same story for the Biathlon. This time it’s Cross-Country Skiing and Rifle Shooting. Why? Nobody knows. But it blows my mind that some Finnish guy is going to cross-country ski five miles then lay down in the snow and hit a 1 millimeter target from 50 meters away. Then do it again and again and again.
Normal sledding is a fun winter time activity. Maybe you build a jump. Maybe you crash. It’s all a good time.
Olympic Sledding is a 90 mph thrill ride where sometimes people die. Luge is crazy. Skeleton is just plain nuts. Bobsled actually looks like a lot of fun. I’d totally try that. Olympic sledding is must watch TV.
Those are the events Lil’ Dogg will be checking on. Nothing against any of the other events, they just aren’t my jam. But if something crazy goes down rest assured Hi-Top will be all over the coverage.
Now cross your fingers and hope that Kim Jong Un doesn’t decide to blow Pyeongchang off the face of the earth.