Everyone remembers the “Super Bowl Shuffle” by the Chicago Bears, it was a damn Grammy nominated pop chart smash with heavy MTV rotation.
But did you know that the New England Patriots had an official response song?
Introducing from a galaxy far far away where the Pats were unheralded underdogs with no glorious tradition and not a shot in hell at winning the Super Bowl comes “New England, the Patriots and We”:
Now I consider myself a pretty well versed New England sports enthusiast (especially when it comes to the 80s & 90s) and I do not recall this glorious musical masterpiece existing in 1986. I remember “Squish the Fish” being something everybody and their mother was saying leading up to the Dolphins game but not “New England, the Patriots and We”.
Emergency Top 5 Takeaways from “New England, the Patriots and We”:
5. The Gun
The video opens with a gun being held to a teddy bear. That ain’t happening in 2018.
4. The Mustaches
The facial hair on display is absolutely stunning. Magnum PI himself would be jealous of some these ‘staches.
3. The Syntax
The phrase “New England, the Patriots and We” is weird. Like real weird. I guess it invokes some “We the People” vibe but it just sounds strange. They couldn’t have gone with “New England, We are the Patriots” or something.
2. Hey is that Joyce Kulhawik?
The local TV news anchors came out hard for this one. Shout out to a young Mike Lynch in the house!
1. This song stinks!
The Super Bowl Shuffle was bad but in an entertaining, cheesy kinda catchy way. “New England, the Patriots and We” is just plain awful.
Thankfully this song exists only in the parallel universe where the Pats were lucky to be playing in January at all and we instead now have a grand tradition of excellence and domination.
Time for a new song New England . May I suggest calling it “We are (always) the Champions”.