Let’s be up front here – this is going to be controversial.
Your preferred snack choice is just about the most personal decision there is. Are you a salty snacks fiend? A sweet treats monster? Do you like to get fancy with designs and gourmet recipes or do you want to Keep It Simple Stupid. To dip or not to dip? That is the question.
First up, some guidelines. We are talking SNACKS here not full meals. It either has to be bite sized or easily shareable. A rack of ribs is not a snack but a plate of wings is. A honey roasted ham is a meal. Little cheese and pepperoni sandwiches on crackers – that’s a snack. Got it? Good.
So what’s your poison? Salty or sweet? Personally I’m a salty snacks pup and truly in my heart of hearts I believe salty snacks are the only way to go for the Big Game Buffett. And here’s why – Pastries are great, cakes are wonderful and pies are divine but they are all HEAVY. They weigh your stomach down. All that dough fills you up fast and stays with you. If you go to town pre-game on some artist designed cupcakes shaped like footballs:
That’s it. You are done. It takes three quarters to digest that much chocolate.
The name of the Super Bowl eating game is longevity. Slow and steady snacking. And that means salty.
Now I’m no basic betch pup so I’m not talking about Plain Jane chips and dip here. That’s amateur hour and certainly not worthy of the Super Bowl of snacking (side note – the Super Bowl of snacking takes place during the actual Super Bowl. Not sure of any other Super Bowl of _______ that happens during the Super Bowl. Just a little something that makes you go hmmmmm)
The end all, be all.
There’s two main ways you can go with the quintessential football game snack –
The clean version scores on presentation but the messy nachos claim all the yummy taste. Give me a heap of guac, a dollop of sour cream and plenty of salsa. You can save the finely chopped bell peppers and three types of organic onions for your mama’s fancy friends. On Super Bowl Sunday I want my nacho chip loaded up and on the edge of disaster like Chris Christie at a Golden Corral.
The Salty Meats
Your pepperoni, your sausage, your salami – these are underrated, key components of the snacking experience. If I walk into a Super Bowl party and I don’t see a cheese and crackers spread with at least six different cheese/meat/cracker combinations possible, well I’m just turning around, getting back in my car and going home cuz what’s the point? Starting off the night with little cracker sandwiches is an absolute must. It’s the pre-snacking snack. The snack that sets the stage, readies your stomach for a night of intense snacking. When that cheese and pepperoni combo hits your gut, it tells your belly “Get ready Buddy, we are in for a loooong night.”
No matter what you like to eat the fact is you are going to be eating A LOT. And what you don’t want is for your beverage choice to hinder your eating abilities. Beer is fine but even if you are a Craft Beer Super Snob you still gotta go with something light. If you’re drinking a Double Heavy Super Wheat artisanal-y crafted by a Ulysses S. Grant look-a-like in Great Falls, Idaho well that’s like a meal in itself. Not cool. Grab a Coors Light, shave off your handlebar mustache and go back for thirds on the wings.
Facts is facts and snacks is snacks and when it comes to the Super Bowl give a stiff arm to the Boston Cream Pie and the decorated Pats Helmet cupcakes. Instead bend your knees, lower your shoulder and hit that pepperoni platter hard. Then grab a prime seat on the couch right in front of the nachos and make sure to keep control of your chip all the way through the entire eating process.