By now, we’re all caught up on Thumb-ghazi (trademark, Bennygloves). Quick recap: Brady cut open his hand, gushed blood everywhere, got some stitches, missed practice, wore gloves to maybe pretend he wasn’t hurt, then did practice but pretended maybe he didn’t, then pretended he might not play because he wasn’t(?) hurt….all biz as uzsh at 1 Patriot Place.
But truth be told, the whole ordeal has us a little on edge at HTTA HQ. In the words of a legendary radio personality: “WE’RE A LITTLE NERVOUS, MIKE! I’M SORRY. WE ARE, MIKE!”
Well, we aren’t just reactionary blowhards…I mean, we ARE that, but we’re not JUST that. So we decided to #bebetter and take it a step further.
Now, I’ve seen reporters all over social media quoting trainers, sports medicine folks, ortho’s, all speculating about this injury. That’s great, but we’re #shinglebyshingle #regularguys, so we don’t need to talk to people with fancy degrees. We went to some of the foremost experts in the fields of clumsy injuries and getting stitches….LITTLE KIDS.
To start, we visited a local trampoline park, and asked a bunch of kids about their injury history and experience. Two kids really jumped out at us:
Emma (9), told us that she got a pretty good slice on her arm at the playground at school one day last September. She said she was nervous about the prospect of stitches, but was comforted when the nurse said “Maybe they’d just give you a little butterfly stitch” (pro move by the nurse there, btw). It turns out, Emma did need five stitches, but Patriots and Emma fans alike will be happy to hear that she was back on the playground the next day. She even had gym class, and according to her, “pitched awesome in the big kickball game”. The only limitation was that she couldn’t get it wet for about 48 hours.
Lucas (7) has quite an extensive history. He once “broked his arm” falling off the “monkey bar things” when he was “like 5”, but he got a blue cast and was fine in a few weeks. Like Emma, though, he needed to keep the cast dry. He didn’t think he had a surgery.
In an incident more directly relevant to Brady, while at the trampoline park yesterday, “like 5 minutes or like, an hour ago” Lucas ran into another kid while playing dodge ball. Like Brady, he hurt his finger, and the injury required an ice pack. After a conference between his mom and her sister-in-law, though, and a rudimentary concussion protocol, Lucas was allowed to go back into the dodgeball area for “about 15 more minutes” because they had “to go pick up his brother by 2”. I will say, as a former dodgeballer, he was whipping it pretty good.
Also, within the HTTA Extended family, Bennygloves own nephew, a local hockey standout, had a recent injury that necessitated his getting an undetermined amount of staples in his head. He couldn’t play the same day he got the staples because “it couldn’t get wet”, but was back in action this weekend. His play was not effected at all by the injury, and he had no limitations.
So, it seems as though Tommy Teriffic will be fine this week vs the Jags- assuming he kept his hand dry, which appears to be a key. That must’ve been why he had the red gloves.
All in all though, our research has us convinced that Brady will be largely unaffected by this injury, and this was all little more than the product of people who report on the Patriots being bored out of their skulls.
Le Cap’s Pick: Pats 31-13