Giving to Charity is Apparently for Losers

Following the Week 17 Bengals win over the Ravens, Bills fans began sending donations to Andy Dalton’s charity (ended up getting 400K in the days following the game), because the win sent the Bills to the playoffs. This was deemed as classy by some, but these are the same mindless scumbags who vandalized their own players’ lawn after a fumble in September 2009…so nothing they do in Buffalo is classy. It was clearly just meant to troll the Bengals’ QB, team and fans.

Well, Bengals fans, not to be outdone, this week have begun to send donations to the charity of yet another AFC QB…one Robby Blake Bortles. You see, young Blake defeated the Steelers, who the Bengals apparently consider a rival.

bortles tweet

This is sooooooo Cincinnati. Such a loser team, and a more loser-y fan base.

First off, you steal a somewhat clever idea that Buffalo fans had to basically rub your face in the fact that your season was ultimately meaningless. You’re so dense you don’t realize you were being shit on…and now you repeat it by shitting on yourself?

Secondly, you’re so obsessed with the Steelers- a team very many light years beyond yours as a franchise- that you’re sending money to the charity of some shitty quarterback, for winning a game that does you absolutely no good. Your team can’t win, so the only thing you have to cling to is “At least the Steelers lost” ?!

Look, I’ve got issues in my world. Among them is trying to figure out how to balance my life while Captaining this wildly successful, critically acclaimed, multi-national blogging site. But at least I don’t have to wake up in Cincinnati.

WKRP in Cincinnati went off the air in 1982, and it’s been pretty much downhill from there.

While we’re on the topic…donating to an opponents charity is such an “of this time” thing. Can you see a hard core ‘Skins fan in the mid-70’s sending money to the Terry Bradshaw foundation because they took down the Cowboys in Superbowl X???

I don’t recall mailing a check to Randy Johnson after the ’01 World Series.

Forget fans, I don’t even think Jack Tatum himself ever gave a dime to help those who are quadriplegic.

I’m not saying giving to charity is bad…it’s great. We’re big fans here at HTTA. But give to your own guys’ charity. There is just something that doesn’t feel right giving money to the charity of a guy from another team…it’s very submissive.

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