The Los Angeles Lakers are bad. Not epically, historically bad like the Cleveland Browns, no they’re more like mediocre, terrible just plain not good, bad. But nonetheless they stink.
The Los Angeles Lakers also have an inordinate amount of sons of former players on their roster including their Head Coach.
These two facts combined begs the obvious question – Could a team of the parents of current Lakers beat the Lakers themselves in a game of basketball?
Head Coach – Luke Walton
G – Lonzo Ball
G – Gary Payton II
F – Kyle Kuzma
F – Larry Lance Jr.
C – Julius Randle
Head Coach – Bill Walton
G – Lavar Ball
G – Gary Payton
F – Karri Kuzma
F – Larry Nance
C – Carolyn Kyles
At first glance you would obviously say that a group of twenty somethings is going to crush their parents but let’s take a look at exactly who these parents are.
First up you have two ex-NBA guys with Gary Payton and Larry Nance. Now The Glove was known as an all-time tough as nails competitor. He wasn’t the most athletic or even the most skilled although he did have bits of both but the bottom line was Gary Payton would be up in your shirt guarding you the entire game, you are getting no easy buckets and he’s going to wear you out. I’d bet my last dollar he could still do those things today. Larry Nance may not have the instant name recognition of a Gary Payton but he was a three time All-Star in the Golden Era of the NBA and has his jersey retired by the Cavaliers. So Nance is no slouch.
Next you have two Moms. But not just any moms. Karri Kuzma was on a track scholarship when she got pregnant with Kyle and Carolyn Kyles was a D-1 basketball player herself at Texas. So these are a couple of grade-A MILFs – that’s Moms I’d Like to Fastbreak with (get your head out of the gutter).
And last but most certainly not least we have the one, the only Lavar Ball. Now his athletic exploits have been dubious at best, supposedly he played ball for Washington State briefly and then there’s some crazy NFL Euro stories floating around. But all that has nothing to do with his greatest asset which would virtually ensure victory in this particular scenario. Lavar has complete and utter mental domination over any foe he faces. Be it a TV interviewer or a customer of his own company, Lavar is the Big Baller and everyone else is just a small baller.
And we haven’t even mentioned the insane basketball brain of Bill Walton that would be leading the geriatric Lakers. Daddy Walton is far out there man and if there’s anyone who could get these parents working together for a common goal it’s Bill. He’d pipe in some Dead tunes, get everyone on the same frequency and the kids would have no chance.
Winner – Laker Parents