The Hi-Top Guide to Surviving the Upcoming Snow Storm

The impending snowstorm coming New England’s way has been described as a super storm, a snow hurricane, and my personal favorite – “a cyclone bomb”. Crazy wind and snow followed by freezing temps – fun times for all.

So provided your house doesn’t get crushed by falling trees or flooded by bursting pipes (prayers up for real that none of that takes place for anyone) you’ll basically be stuck inside for about 24 hours. That’s a lot of time to fill and since Hi-Top HQ is here to serve, we will provide you Hi-Top Nation, a free of charge…

Guide to Surviving the Storm

Step 1

The day before the Cyclone Bomb detonates is key. You need to hit the store and load up. Now most people will be grabbing the essentials – milk, bread, eggs etc. – and sure you can snag some of that but what you really need is variety. Make sure to get a good mix of salty and sweet snacks. And this is not the time to start experimenting. That bag of jalapeño ranch chips may look interesting but if they taste like dog doo you’re stuck. Grab your trusty favorites and buy two. Nothing worse than being left wanting more Funyuns that you don’t have.

Step 2

Get those windshield wipers sticking straight up.

Does doing this actually make any difference? Heck no. You still have to clean off your car but it makes you look like you know what’s up and as GI Joe so aptly put it, “Knowing what’s up is what’s up.” Show your neighbors you’re a responsible, prepared adult and get those wipers sky high.

Step 3

Shoveling is for suckers. Hide in your house and wait for a kind neighbor who owns a snowblower to give your driveway a courtesy blow. People who own snowblowers love three things – 1) Using their snowblower. 2) Having other people gush over their blower. 3) Making big grand gestures about clearing out other people’s sidewalks and driveways. You are actually doing these people a favor by letting them clear your driveway. They get more time with their precious blower. They get to look like the neighborhood hero they so desperately want to be. It’s a win-win for all involved.

Step 4

Take a nap. Is there anything better than a snow day nap? Well maybe one thing but while you’re napping your wife needs to entertain the kids so that other thing ain’t happening.

Step 5

Spend the rest of the day reading the Hi-Top Archives. We have like 300 articles on this thing. Something for everyone.

There you have it Hi-Top Nation. Everything you need to make sure this Cyclone Bomb Snowstorm is the Best Cyclone Bomb Snowstorm of all-time. So kick up your feet, let Bob the neighbor do all the hard work and spend your day reading about Boston Legends, cool dunks, and history’s greatest nerds.

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