Every half- wit with an Internet connection is currently releasing their Top Moments of 2017 so of course we full-wits at Hi-Top HQ need to get in on that sweet sweet Year End Action. You can read The Sophomore’s excellent countdown of the Top Average Albums of the Year here and good ol’ Benny Gloves busted out of his self imposed hiatus to drop some knowledge about his pick for Favorite Item of the Year.
Now it’s the Lil’ Dogg’s turn at bat. Your normal sports blog site might count down the Top Moments in Sports like a bunch of basic betches and normal Norms. Not Hi-Top. Let’s take a look at the Top 5 Sports Adjacent things of the 2017.
5. The Turnover Chain
The U may have turned out to be frauds be that takes nothing away from the pure joy and pleasure that the Turnover Chain brought to the sports world this College Football season. But of course nothing gold can stay Ponyboy so the world had to go and ruin the Turnover Chain like it ruins everything else but this pup will always cherish those fleeting moments before the cash-ins and merchandising when a gold chain was the greatest thing in sports.
4. Tim Tebow Divine Being/Baseball Player
If Tim Tebow didn’t exist we’d have to invent him. A human being so perfect, so precious he can heal the sick with a simple touch of his glorious hands. He grants autistic kids wishes. He hits a homer in his first professional at-bat:
He vanquishes pitchers who’s career stats equal 666. He wins games at exactly 3:16 in the afternoon. Tim Tebow does exist and it’s to remind all of us mortals that we are weak, frail sinners in a wicked an immoral world and only Tim Tebow can save us.
3. Athletes are the New Journalists
The Players Tribune has been around for a few years now but it’s only been this past year that it’s power has been fully realized. 2017 was the year Athletes told old media to take a hike and grabbed the notebooks and portable recorders for themselves. If you’re a pro player and you don’t have a podcast or a blog then you need to fire your agent and hire an intern immediately. Sure the old Full Page Ad in the local newspaper still plays well but when it comes to retirement announcements, teary eyed confessions or just letting the world know what you think, why go through a third party when you can just have an unpaid Players Tribune intern write up a post and smack your John Hancock on it.
2. The Mind of Kyrie
Flat Earth Kyrie got all the headlines and make no mistake that dozie is certainly leading the charge here but his takes all around are just off the wall great – he doesn’t think Christmas is a holiday, his favorite music is Rent and Phantom of the Opera, he feels awake now that he doesn’t eat animals (speaking truth there – I get real sleepy after a big steak dinner), the Illuminati is watching…Kyrie is Kyrie and that’s all that matters when you’re wearing the Green and can do this:
1. Animated Sports Gifs
I don’t know how the nerd geniuses make these things but every day they get better and better. My personal favorite is from the US Open:
The animation! The sound effects! Those fives seconds deserve a goddamn Oscar. It’s by far more entertaining than an actual Marvel movie that’s for sure. I’ve watched that tennis Gif more than any TV show or movie all year. God bless you nerds.
Facts is facts. That’s it that’s the list. Happy 2017 let’s hope 2018 is….different.