More Shocking Things James Harrison Did to Get Out of Pittsburgh

It’s been widely reported that new Patriots linebacker and former Steelers legend James Harrison “forced” his way out of Pittsburg by engaging in some antics that caused issues within the Steelers organization.

Former teammates are claiming Harrison was skipping practices and meetings and also snoring during meetings* – well which is it???? You can’t skip a meeting and snore in it at the same time. Stupid Pittsburgh.

*Apparently nobody in Pittsburgh has read the book about the 1990s Cowboys and what happened during their team meetings.

The whole situation is more than a little confusing so Hi-Top has called in a few of its top level NFL sources to get you Hi-Topper Nation the down and dirty details.

Here are the real reasons behind Harrison’s Release:

1. James Harrison is know for his wild workout videos. Well we’ve discovered he’s also know for not wiping down the equipment after each use. Now anyone with a Planet Fitness membership knows that’s a gigantic no-no.

2. James Harrison does not respect Break Room Etiquette. He’s a notorious lunch thief. Apparently the last straw was taking a bite out of Coach Tomlin’s Corned Beef Sandwich.

3. James Harrison plugs toilets.

4. Parking is always a hot button issue among co-workers. Nobody likes the guy or gal who can’t park between the lines and ends up wasting two spots. Harrison was that guy.

5. Pittsburgh is fiercely protective of their own. You just can’t turn your back on one of your Pittsburgh brothers. And that’s just what Harrison did when he refused to visit the Andy Warhol Museum. Harrison claims he’s more a neo-classicalist and just does not see the inherent value in the derivative pop culture Warhol style.

Clearly Harrison gave the Steelers no choice. They had to release him. And now you know the truth. No more speculation. No more “Sources Say”. Just the straight dope.

Please credit Hi-Top Table Athletics Investigative Team if you quote from this report.

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