Rudolph’s Shiny New Year

The Lil’ Dogg is in the midst of an epic battle with one mother of a cold so I’ve been spending most of my waking hours in a cough syrup induced haze. But this pup is a true soldier for the Hi-Top Nation so here I am blogging from my death bed.

It was in the middle of my latest sizzurp binge that I stumbled on to an airing of Rudolph’s Shiny New Year and let me tell you that is one bat shit crazy animated special.

Take a look at the “Heroes”:

Rudolph looks fine, same as always. Sitting on Rudolph is Happy the New Year Baby. He’s one troll looking mofo:

Ain’t nothin’ happy about that.

Then you get a demented Ben Franklin knock-off, a Knight who for unexplained reasons has a ZZ Top beard and lastly a monstrosity that they say is a Caveman.

And those are the good guys.

Here’s the bad guy:

This is Eon and he wants to steal Happy and keep him as a slave so that the New Year never happens because if the calendar turns to January 1 then Eon turns to ice and dies.

Fun stuff.

The plot involves Rudolph and his friends chasing Eon through the Archipelago of Last Years and trying to rescue Happy at the behest of Father Time who asked Santa for help. Santa Sent Rudolph cuz everybody’s passing the buck and nobody wants to be in this mess. Guess Rudolph pulled the short stick.

Happy keeps running away because everyone laughs at his big ears. Rudolph’s got that nose so he feels for Happy and can teach him to love himself or some shit.

There’s really really really bad songs.

The 60s and 70s produced their fair share of “wacky” children’s programming created under some questionable influences if you get what I’m saying and what I’m saying is these people were out of their gourds high and not from cough syrup. But Rudolph’s Shiny New Year just might take the cake for being the most out there of them all.

Watch this show at your own peril and if you have kids keep them far far away from this mess. You’ve been warned.

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