Weekend Winner

What a weekend folks! A dude who used to be a walk-on, A WALK-ON!!!!!! (as reported first by Hi-Top and by absolutely no one else) won the Heisman Trophy. Derek Jeter started his campaign for Owner of the Year by trading his best player to his former team, nothing shady there. But the story everyone is talking about….

YOU GET AN INJURY! YOU GET AN INJURY! EVERYONE GETS AN INJURY!!!!!!

Yes your Weekend Winner is Injuries.

Superstar QB (because the NFL only has two types of QBs – bums and superstars) Carson Wentz is OUT with an ACL.

Patriots fans are (secretly) cheering and Philadelphia, oh poor Philly, what did you ever do besides being classless A-holes who throw batteries at Santa and Michael Irvin (that was Philly right???) to deserve such bad luck.

Oh well cheer up. Take it from a Pats Fan, Super Bowls happen every year and parades aren’t even fun after like the fourth one so you’re really not missing out.

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