Thanksgiving is just about one week away. You know what that means Hi-Topper Nation – we are officially entering Turkey Day Preparation Mode.
Your belly better be ready or you will NOT make it through 10 hours of non-stop eating.
And before you can be physically prepared you must be mentally prepared. We are talking high level visualization exercises and that can only mean one thing – it’s Top 5 time.
Top 5 Best & Worst Thanksgiving Dishes
*For the purposes of this list we are going to table (see what I did there) Turkey and stick to strictly side dishes.
5. Green Beans
I don’t care if it’s string or in a casserole, the words “Pass the Green Beans” do not leave my lips. I might stick a few on the side of my plate to give it some nice color but I am not asking for more.
4. Corn Nibblets
Corn is starch. Starch is filling. If you are taking up precious belly space with corn than you are a rank amateur and doing it all wrong. Back to the Kids Table ya go.
3. Sweet Potatoes
This pick comes with some controversy around Hi-Topper HQ. Some people love their sweet potatoes and I respect that. You got your mini marshmallows and whatnot so I see the appeal. We just have to agree to disagree on this one.
2. Mincemeat Pie
What is Mincemeat Pie? Does it have actual meat in it? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. I just know I don’t want Mincemeat Pie anywhere near my plate.
1. Cranberry Sauce
I’m not a cranberry sauce guy. It’s got a weird texture. Is it jelly? I take my jelly with peanut butter and nothing else. I’ll put a slice of cranberry on my plate cuz crazy Aunt Beth made it and I want to be nice but you’re nuts if you think I’m actually eating it.
5. Mashed Potatoes
A thick creamy heap of mashed potatoes hanging off the side of my plate with a nice chunk of melting butter and salted all to hell. Must have. No debate. Just a classic Thanksgiving side.
4. Apple Pie
Another all American classic. The go-to dessert when you’re afraid to try your cousin’s chocolate fudge surprise. Warm apple pie with a nice scoop of vanilla. A bit bland – maybe. A bit safe – sure. But you know what your getting and they’re called comfort foods for a reason.
3. Potatoes Au Gratin
A personal favorite. You get your russet potato fix but with a nice little crunchy twist. You only see potatoes au gratin at Thanksgiving time so take advantage and double up.
2. Pumpkin Pie with Cool Whip
Hands down the best dessert. Classic, simple and delicious. The dollop of Cool Whip is the key here (and also the only time a #regularguy can use a fancy word like dollop). I’m normally a whipped cream guy but on pumpkin pie you have to go Cool Whip, just makes all the difference.
Stuffing is my JAM yo. Love stuffing. I go three, four helpings easy with stuffing. I’m the one at the table scraping the stuffing bowl for every last delicious crumb. Thanksgiving is the excuse to go elbow deep in stuffing. On its own or dripping with gravy, stuffing is where it’s at on Turkey Day. In fact I just might start a Hi-Topper approved petition to rename Turkey Day to Stuffing Day.
That’s it that’s the list. Agree to disagree if you must but then you’d be wrong and that’s no way to go through life, definitely not on Stuffing Day.