He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark

Benny Gloves here, live from FL… maybe I am checking out just how BACK the U is or maybe just dropping in on the boy who lived?

Either way, was catching up on all the Pats front 7 news today when I came across a story about new signee Ricky Jean Francois. Apparently Mr. Francois is the proud owner of 30 Dunkin Donut franchises, because he is interested in long term financial planning. And while most other sites are writing up about how this will immediately endear him to the Massholes of Patriot Nation, this one quote is what stood out to me:

“When you see the bacon donut, I’m the guy who threw the idea around,” Francois said. …

Oh, you invented the bacon donut? Oh okay, bro. 👌 Get that mess out of here. I mean that is some Dr. Evil’s dad level of hyperbole right there.

I mean first of all, no you didn’t. I am quite certain that the Bacon Donut was invented by some hipster dude wearing flannel with whimsical facial hair in Portland (either ME or OR). Secondly Bacon Donuts are gross and a lame trend, so why take credit for fake inventing them? And thirdly, anyone who is buying a Bacon Donut is certainly not getting them from Dunkies. Very suspect.

All that being said I bet Belichick can coach 7 sacks and a key forced fumble out of him by the time we are done winning another Super Bowl.


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