Lil’ Dogg Private Eye back on the scene of yet another unfolding NBA Mystery Investigation. Let’s get right to the case:
Injured Boston Celtic star Gordon Hayward, Gordo as he’s affectionately know, is apparently being forced to practice his shooting form in the dark by Celtics Boss Danny Ainge.
A photograph of the alleged abusive behavior has been procured:
The central question here is WHY is Gordo shooting in the dark? Is he being punished by the Celtics brass for getting injured in the first game of the season after signing the most lucrative contract in team history?
My investigation says NO. Actually the facts I’ve uncovered say quite the opposite.
Danny Ainge is a noted believer in “Alternative Science”. His views on “Brain Typing” are well known. Ainge is a sworn follower of a shadowy figure know only as The Brain Doctor.
Is The Brain Doctor behind this “Dark Shooting” method that we now have evidence is being used in Gordo’s recovery?
Have Ainge and The Brain Doctor discovered a healing method unbeknownst to the rest of the world?
This one is pretty cut and dry folks. Obviously Ainge is utilizing a method developed by The Brain Doctor in which Gordo is mentally healing his injured leg by repeating his shooting form in the dark. By practicing while visually impaired his brain is forced to rely on past experiences in which his leg was perfectly healthy. Thus the cells in his leg will heal themselves at a faster rate as they are tricked into behaving in a “healthy” state as opposed to a “unhealthy” state.
Guilty – Danny Ainge is found guilty on all charges of being a goddamn genius.
Lil’ Dogg P. I.