When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people- Celtics fans- to dissolve the binds which have connected them with previous years’ teams, HTTA hereby declares the causes which impel us to the separation.
Look, I loved last year’s Celtics team. They were exciting. They never stopped playing hard, and it led them to several thrilling victories fueled by great 4th Quarter performances from Isaiah Thomas…IT…The King of the Fourth. Ultimately, though, as good as IT was, the team was limited as to how far his talent and their collective heart could carry them.
Fast forward to this season. With all of the off-season roster turnover, and three weeks of evidence in the books- highlighted by last night’s thrilling come from behind win- Le Cap and Hi Top Athletics are ready to proclaim that we are Declaring our Independence from the King of the Fourth.
Let’s face it, this is the birthplace of freedom…we can’t be represented by a King. It is wholly Un-Boston-like to have a king of the fourth. Therefore, on behalf of the many colonies of Celtics fans: the Old-Timers from the Cousy and Russell eras, The Baby Boomers and Gen X’ers spanning Havlicek to Cowens to Bird, and the New Era Green Teamers who cheered for Antoine to the “New Big Three” and beyond; we here at HTTA have a plan to move forward with this team in a more representative fashion.
We propose that rather than a Parliament, this team have a 4th Quarter Congress, led by the seemingly rejuvenated Al Horford, The Subtle Sensation, who is playing his best basketball in this young season. Al, with members Brown, Tatum, Smart et al, will represent the team in the fourth quarter far better than any one man could.
We also propose that, in the place of the King, the leader of this new team, Kyrie Irving, be granted the title President of the Fourth. (t-shirts forthcoming). He will work in concert with the Congress to achieve the most beneficial outcome for the team and their loyal fans.
We do acknowledge that All Men are Created Equal, but when you tune in to a Celtics game this season, you can’t help but notice #4 may not quite be completely equal to #11, when it comes to basketball.
Though it’s early, this team seems as though it could be one of Divine Providence.
The Sleepy One