Uptown Girl, Livin’ In a Full-Size Candy Bar World

While Le Cap is a regular guy, I have apparently become an irregular guy. Well, not in that sense…

How do I know I have “made it”? Because I now live in a neighborhood that gives out full-size candy bars on Halloween.

That’s right, if allergies allowed people to give out snickers in my neighborhood, they wouldn’t be bite-size.

This was never stated on the seller’s disclosure statement before I bought my house. Had it been, I would have easily taken $5k-$10k off the purchase price.

Shelling out $50 for Halloween candy was not in the budget, forcing the family to cut back in other areas. We are now once again a 2-ply family.

We are also now skipping out on the fabric softener and downgrading from Netflix premium to standard. I have no idea how that will impact my life. Less binge-watching may force an extra conversation or two a week with the misses and accelerate her inevitable realization that I am a-hole.  Soon enough I will need a co-signer on a studio in a building where the “good” apartments give out smarties on Halloween.

If we are able to make it through this Halloween, I just know that the Mercedes-driving prick next door will up the ante and start giving out Godiva. I just hope he gets laid off soon, so we can all go back to “fun size!”


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